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Avoiding Conflict.

08/26/2011

On this lovely Friday I’m thinking about conflict…

 

 

(source)

 

 

How do you handle conflict? Some people confront others head on when they are having a conflict and discuss the situation at hand. Others may withdraw and refuse to talk about the conflict. A final group of people might act out in response to conflict–yelling or fighting with others in a negative fashion.

 

I would like to say that I handle conflict positively. I don’t get mad. I don’t yell. I don’t withdraw. I speak up for myself. I talk things out calmly with others. I stand up for what I believe in and speak my peace. I would like to say all of these things, but it’s not entirely true all of the time.

 

More often than not, I would say that I avoid conflict at all costs. What does this mean? This means that I try (terribly) hard to not get into arguments or disagreements with others. I feel guilty when I speak up for myself. I try to stay quiet instead of stating how I truely feel in the situation. I hide my negative feelings as to not make the other person involved feel bad. I haven’t always consciously recognized the way in which I handle confict. Earlier today, however, I started thinking about my way of handling conflict at work. I am fortunate to say that I really and honestly feel comfortable with most of the people I work with and get along with everyone just fine. Today, however, I found myself becoming angry towards a newer staff member who corrected my behaviors when interacting with the kids with whom I work. Without getting into the details of the situation- the conflict was over merely a difference in opinion. Instead of speaking up for myself and my opinions, however, I simply yielded to my coworkers opinion and went with the flow. I followed her lead even though I knew I had done nothing wrong. This situation was small, but it still got me thinking….

 

Does the way in which we tend to handle conflicts ever limit us or impact us negatively? Personally, I think the way in which I handle conflict impacts me more than I realize sometimes. Today, after the situation at work, I was left feeling questioned, undermined, and bit angry. Maybe it wasn’t warranted. Maybe I make too big of a deal out of things sometimes, but it still affected me. I think avoiding conflict entirely doesn’t make me a healthier or happier person. If nothing else, avoiding conflict produces more stress for me. I end up feeling bad about myself as well, and I wish that I would’ve spoken up for myself.

 

Clearly I need to continue working on my ways of handling conflict, but I can imagine that most of us can probably say that! 🙂

 

 

 

 

Tell me: How do you usually handle conflict?

Also, tell me: Up to anything fun this weekend?

 

 

Happy weekend everyone! 🙂

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. 08/28/2011 10:43 pm

    I’m definitely a conflict avoider, if it’s something serious. But I love a good debate, so I won’t hold back from a friendly disagreement!

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