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Following my own advice….

10/23/2011

Have you ever found it difficult to actually follow your own advice? I am constantly telling other people to be happy with what you have in life and where you are in life right now. I am constantly telling other people that you shouldn’t worry about what others think– it’s only your opinion of yourself that matters. I am constantly talking about how we shouldn’t set unrealistic expectations for ourselves that we can’t meet because we will only end up feeling disappointed. I am constantly dishing out this advice, but I have found that lately I’m not following my own advice.

 

 

 

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Lately, instead of taking my own advice, I’ve been having a lot of negative thoughts. Honestly, I’ve been thinking about my life in terms of “the shoulds.” Instead of focusing on where I am in my life right now, I’ve been focusing on where I should be in my life right now. My expectations for myself are disorganized. I’ve been thinking things like…..”I should be living on my own right now and be financially independent;” “I should be in a relationship at this point in my life;” “I should be doing more;” “I should be better at certain things.” The list goes on and on. These thoughts are distorted and unrealistic.

 

I may want some of these things right now, but it doesn’t mean that they “should” be happening.

 

 

(source)

 

 

So, how do you deal with a case of the “shoulds”?

 

I think that recognition is the first step. I absolutely hate people who are constantly negative and who constantly seek pity from others. That is not what I want for myself ever.  Now that I’ve identified that these thoughts are distorted, I’m going to make more of a conscious effort to stop thinking this way. I’m going to start telling myself that things will happen in their own time. There is no way I can predict the future. I have to be happy with where I am right now. We all do. Right now, there are so many things going right in my life. I’m finding that I need to take my own advice and focus more on these things. I need to realize that focusing on all of the little things in life can make me feel happier overall. I am going to stop thinking in terms of “shoulds.” I am going to focus on my strengths, smile, and show off more of that positive attitude that I’ve always had.

 

 

 

Your turn– Have you ever thought in terms of “shoulds”? How did you deal with it?

 

 

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. 10/23/2011 2:34 pm

    It is *so* easy to go down that “should” rat hole and without really even trying to. It’s so frustrating when it happens (because I’m like you – not into being a negative person overall, cannot stand people that only focus on the negative!) but I find it usually happens when I’m comparing myself to others around me too much instead of just being happy and content being me, and only me. Know what I mean? We’re all human though and bound to get hit with a case of the “shoulds” now and then – it’s how you deal with them, pull yourself out of that hole and get happy again, that matters most.

  2. 10/23/2011 3:48 pm

    I know exactly what you mean Jess. I think that sometimes we compare ourselves to other people without even knowing it. I need to try to just focus on me. Thanks for your insight 🙂

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