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You can’t help what you think or feel.

02/19/2012

It’s been an entire week since I last blogged, and even longer since I’ve sat down to compose a truly honest post.

 

 

I’ve spent the last week devoting some time here and there thinking as to why it’s been so long since I’ve blogged and thinking about the place I’ve been in recently. I could lie and simply state that I’ve been too busy to blog (which isn’t always very far from the truth), but this week it’s been something different. I’ve been a little scared to blog because I’m not sure what would come out if I really sat down to write  a post.

 

Pinned Image

(source)

 

 

 

I don’t want (or in any way expect) pity or sympathy from anyone when I say that I had a rough week last two weeks for a variety of reasons. I had a lot going on internally and was overly emotional for reasons I’m not quite sure of entirely. I was doubting where I am in my life right now. I have a birthday where I will turn 24 in a couple of weeks (yes I do realize that this is still young), and I started to think about where I expected to be right now at this point in my life. I expected to be living on my own and possibly in a long-term relationship. Although I know these are things that I don’t need to happen right now in my life, I still couldn’t help thinking about it.

 

 

 

I think we all create expectations for ourselves in our minds sometimes that aren’t realistic or necessarily even important. We do it because we see where other people are in their lives or simply because we are feeling idealistic. Creating these expectations isn’t always a problem. The problem comes when you fail to meet these expectations and you spend too much time feeling disappointed or upset because of it. That’s the state that I was in up until recently. I wasn’t thinking of all of my accomplishments. I didn’t credit myself for being two years into my graduate school program while having a full-time job that I love. I didn’t credit myself for having goals for my future and friends/family who care about me. Instead I thought about the should of’s and could of’s. I smiled on the outside, but meanwhile I felt pretty crappy on the inside.

 

 

As I already said, I’m writing this post (and hitting “publish” in a couple of minutes) not to be negative or because I want people to feel sorry for me. If you know me or read my blog you should know that for the most part I am positive, optimistic, and easygoing. At the same time, however, I want everyone to realize that we all have “those days” or even “those weeks” where we simply feel miserable. It makes us human. It makes us real. It makes us appreciate the times when we are feeling happy and optimistic. 

 

It’s moving on from those times and learning to let those times go that makes us stronger.

 

Pinned Image

(source)

 

 

 

Thanks for listening if you made it to the end of this post! I promise to write some upbeat and not-so-serious posts in the upcoming week, but this post is what I needed to write today. Happy Sunday everyone, and have a great week!

 

 

 

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. 02/19/2012 5:04 pm

    I am really glad you wrote this!! I try to stay positive too and there are times I don’t want to blog b/c I don’t want to blog something depressing lol. But I appreciate your honesty! Even the most positive people have their bad days. It’s good to know that others struggle too b/c it helps to realize you’re not alone.

  2. Connie permalink
    02/19/2012 9:26 pm

    The Talking Heads song, Once in a Lifetime, has a line in it “You may ask yourself how did I get here?”—-and so many times I ask myself that question. Life is full of curve balls and not all of them are bad. Wonderful things can happen when least expected. You may find yourself in a very different place next year. Keep thinking positively.

  3. 02/20/2012 2:13 pm

    oh girl i love this post bc of how true and real it is. i dont like blogs that are always positive because they arent very relatable. I am sorry you are feeling a little down lately. ive been in a weird place lately too, after coming out of a long term relationship, starting my first post-college job (that i feel like i suck at sometimes and totally clueless at), and trying to get by living on my own on an entry level salary while paying loans in a new city by myself! id be lying if i said i didnt feel totally lost at times. but i just know it will make me a stronger person and im growing every day. thanks for commenting on my blog girl and i am definitely putting you in my favorites!

  4. 02/21/2012 9:46 am

    I hope that you feel better and that writing this post was helpful to you! You shouldn’t have to put on a happy face to blog, if you’re feeling crummy, let it out. It happens to everyone! I love the balloon image you used too – I often have trouble “letting go”.

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